Guys, we’ve all done stupid things, haven’t we? Right now you can probably rattle off three or four or fifty without even thinking about it. But you know one of the stupidest things we as husbands can do?

Forget about the importance of our wives in the big and little things in our lives.

Sure, we all know we’d be sunk without our wives. They’ve bailed us out more times than we realize. We can all give a hearty “Amen” to the fact that wives are an incredible gift from God. And yet, when it comes to us leaning on our wives for the big things and the little things in our lives, we turn on the “machismo” and engage “I can handle this” mode.

Guys, that’s just plain stupid.

Amazingly, we expect our wives to lean on us, but we somehow believe that’s a one-way street. So we just keep things inside and allow our wives to watch us squirm, get antsy and eventually agitated. We bottle things inside us so we don’t unnecessarily burden our wives.

Again, guys, that’s just plain stupid.

I’m not saying our wives need to become our therapists (though sometimes they probably are) – I’m just saying that they know we’re struggling with things that are big and little, and yet the one person on the planet we should be communicative with is sometimes the last to find out. Why does this happen? Because we fear what our wives will think about us – because we think that they think that we’re supposed to have mastered being a husband/father.

Again guys, that’s just plain…..ok – I think you’re getting the point.


We should be going to our wives when we’re struggling with a purity issue and letting them know we’re going to an older man for help.

We should be going to our wives when we face feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.

We should be going to our wives when we have no clue what’s going on or what the next step is.

We should be going to our wives when we think we’ve blown it and hope is lost.


Yes, our wives will have to process these things and sift through them (just like any person would), but the alternative of silently internalizing our struggles and leaving the most important person in our world out of the loop simply isn’t an option. And I would dare say it’s even unbiblical (Ephesians 5:31).

So, guys – let’s not be stupid. Let’s humble ourselves and recognize the incredible gift that God has given us and lean on her as you’re leading your family further and higher through God’s incredible journey.


  1. You’re absolutely right..this is more where the definition of one flesh comes into play. God equipped us to be a help meet. I once heard a man in the ministry say that men shouldn’t burden their wives with the things you mentioned above and more, but, personally, I believe God gave us each other to shoulder each other’s burdens and rejoice with each other, but when husbands try to shoulder out by themselves, it actually does affect their wives, adversely. She then may jump to other conclusions and then Satan uses that as a foothold to emotionally, mentally, physically separate them. I admire you for challenging husbands to risk it and just share their feelings, discouragements. Etc with their wives. Two are stronger than one and a cord of three is not easily broken.

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