A general lack of respect for authority seems to be growing in our society, doesn’t it? It seems like a good time for us to evaluate whether or not our children are genuinely embracing authority.
Before we place the blame on the poor role models societal authorities have presented to us, maybe the first place to start is to look at our homes. Are our homes modeling genuine, Biblical submission to authority? So, when our kids don’t see us modeling submissiveness to authorities, where are they supposed to learn it? Could it be that our kids general lack of submissiveness is because of our poor role modeling?
Children need to be taught at a very early age who their authorities are, and that these authorities are to be honored and obeyed.
This is vitally important to their development as God-honoring creatures. The foundation that we set for honoring parental authority is what honoring Divine authority is built on. If parental authority is negotiable, by extension, so is Divine.
If parental authority is negotiable, by extension, so is Divine. Click To TweetIs this why so many adults in our churches see obedience/service to God as optional? Because as children they were not trained to be submissive to authority from a young age?
It may not seem like a big deal, but in the daily grind of life there are moments that unveil our children’s hearts, where we can see whether their hearts are submissive to authority:
- When being told to eat ‘X’ at mealtime
- When being told to clean up ‘X’ item
- When told they cannot have something in the grocery store
- When told it’s time for bed
- When being told to discontinue doing something they really want to do
The difficulties you are facing with obedience stems from a heart that is contrary to willful submission to authority. The arrogant heart (that every child is born with) abhors authority. Paul makes it clear that rebellion towards God is seen in areas like disobedience to parents; that it’s actually a sign of the coming judgment of God:
“And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents…” (Romans 1:28-30)
“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy…” (2 Tim. 3:1-2)
What’s the New Testament Say About Authority?
When the Apostles told their readers about the characteristics of the false teachers, an abhorrence for authority was regularly mentioned:
“…then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment until the day of judgment, 10 and especially those who indulge in the lust of defiling passion and despise authority. 2 Peter 2:9-10
“ I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority. So if I come, I will bring up what he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us.” 3 John 9-10
“Yet in like manner these people also, relying on their dreams, defile the flesh, reject authority, and blaspheme the glorious ones.” Jude 8
Clearly, a common problem among the false teachers was rejecting God-ordained authority. It’s not a characteristic God wants to see in our kids. God wants our children to genuinely embrace authority.
Rejecting authority, (rebelliousness), can be seen with children at a very early age. When a child is not doing what their authorities are asking, it’s not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not permissible and it’s not the path to soft-heartedness. It’s sin. And when that child gets a ‘pass’ in their sinfulness, we are actually training them to be rebellious to their authorities.
Did you hear what I just said there? When we allow a lack of respect for authority to go unchecked with our kids, we are actually training them to reject God’s authority in our lives.
When we allow a lack of respect for authority to go unchecked with our kids, we are actually training them to reject God’s authority in our lives. Click To TweetThe solution? Train your kids (and specifically train them to honor authority). I’ve written an entire chapter about here. Train them to:
- Obey when told the first time (read more about that here)
- A happy heart should always accompany obedience.
- Whether they feel like it or not, it’s always time to obey.
- Respond to mom and dad with “Yes Mom” or “Yes Dad” when given a directive
- Teach them to obey all authorities in their life (with physical boundaries in place).
As a parent, recognize that whining, delay, negotiation and anger are signs of a lack of respect for authority.
You Can Train Your Kids to Honor Authority!
With time and tenacity, you can train your child to genuinely embrace authority. Make a point as a parent to put an action plan into place, and enlist some help from other seasoned parents to help you along the way. Your kids can honor authority, and grow up to be soft and tender to the leading of God in their lives.
Scott Foreman is the Executive Pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Mullica Hill, New Jersey. He has been active in full-time vocational ministry for over 20 years as a Camp Director, Radio Host, Missionary and now Pastor. You can follow him here at The Ministry Dad, and also on Twitter: @scottdforeman.