If you have a teen, or you influence teens, you know they likely are using some form of social media. And likely, this has been an area of concern for you from time to time, and understandably so. Recently, there have been studies done that have linked teen social media use to mental health issues. That alone should cause a parent to wonder whether the benefits of being connected digitally outweigh the risks.
It might be tough for a teen to objectively weigh the benefits/risks associated with social media. Teens’ brains are still developing, and thus their emotions and rationale still maturing. They can sometimes struggle with knowing:
- what’s too much digital engagement
- who they should be engaging with, and
- whether they are in healthy balance with actual person-to-person engagement.
This is where you come in.
Teens need guidance in how to best navigate not just social media issues, but all issues. Discussing social media decisions should be just one of the pieces of the pie of your overall parenting philosophy. Your teen needs you to be proactively shepherding them through all their teen craziness – not just when a crisis presents itself.
But can I tell you what often happens, not just with parents I’ve spoken to over the years but in my parenting?…..
I wait to have important conversations about a social media issue until there is a crisis moment.
As parents and teen influencers, we must continually resist this approach. We can’t dive bomb into a teen’s life to address X issue, give our 2 cents, retreat, and expect good results.
On the contrary, the social media conversation should be a part of what could be considered an ongoing conversation about their lives that doesn’t really stop.
Life’s busy – but we can’t be too busy to not have this type of intentional, proactive approach to conversations. This approach builds trust because the teen doesn’t feel like their parent only talks to them when there’s a problem – the relationship is built on ongoing dialogue about an assortment of issues, social media just being one of them.
Based on that foundation, the social media conversation is a component of a larger conversation you’ve been having about godly dialogue, purity, self-control and setting boundaries. When the table has been set with a way to engage life with God’s priorities, the social media conversation will make that much more sense, and you’ll likely get more buy-in.
Think of it this way: the parent that starts having conversations about how to think and talk to the opposite sex at 5 years old and continues those conversations right up through the tween years is going to have a much easier time talking about social media and purity decisions in the teen years. But if these conversations are starting at 14 or 15 years old – lookout.
So, social media discussions can’t be treated as one-offs – they should be a part of an overall communication strategy that covers all the bases related to social media.
Make the pivot in your own parenting by getting into the habit of regular shepherding conversations with your kids, tweens, and teens. Make it normal to talk about self-image, self-control, toxic friendship, selflessness, and purity. If it helps you, set a time on your calendar to take your child out for these types of intentional conversations.
In my teen/parent workbook, Making Sense of Media, I lay out from Ephesians 5:1-3 how to develop a Biblical plan for developing God-honoring media decisions. This tool could really help you and your teen navigate a good plan for social media use.